Happy Saturday! Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you must have heard the latest safe management measures: no more mask-wearing outdoors, gathering in groups of 10 and the resumption of live performances and group singing.
I was chatting with some friends as the news came out and everyone had varied responses to the new measures. Some focused on the fact that we would be able to visit Teo Heng again, while others were thinking about their next holiday since there’s no longer a need to travel on a VTL. Even a quick scroll through social media reflected that we were all equally excited about different changes.
This week’s subject title means exactly what it reads — that we all have different responses to crisis, and one is not less valid than the other.
It took me a while to accept that.
For a long time, I was frustrated that people were whining about being unable to travel for leisure when there were so many pressing issues at hand. People were dying, the healthcare system was overwhelmed, countries were fighting, and your main concern was being bored because there’s nothing to do in Singapore?
I frequently sat on my high horse while patting myself on the back for not succumbing to what I saw as consumeristic and shallow behaviour.
But that’s not particularly fair. I haven’t felt the yearning to leave our shores simply because I never did so on a frequent basis growing up. Yet for those who used to travel every month, the ban was probably a huge upheaval to their routines.
This does not negate the fact that the abovementioned complaint stems from a place of privilege, but if you look at it objectively, the root of it is the discomfort we all experience as creatures of habit.
For instance, I complained a lot about WFH because I had to share a room with two other people — which could have been met with derision from those staying in flats smaller than my own.
And I’m trying to remind myself of that — and to show more grace to others — even as we approach less stringent measures (for now). What seems like something trivial to me could actually weigh heavily on someone else’s heart, and it’s not fair of me to say “you shouldn’t be feeling that way”.
We cannot judge others simply based on the yardstick of our lived experiences. I frequently chide Alv for doing that — like when he’s insisting that soups have to be kept in the fridge overnight so they don’t attract ants, but I’ve lived my whole life leaving them on the stove — but forget that the statement applies to this area of my life too.
The root of this is my pride.
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung once said: “Although our conscious minds are avoiding our own flaws, they still want to deal with them on a deeper level, so we magnify those flaws in others.”
When we judge someone for something, we are actually judging ourselves as the very same thing; we just haven’t fully owned or accepted that trait yet within us. More often than not, the things we detest and judge in others are a reflection of the things we cannot accept about ourselves.
That’s something I’m finding room to grow in. I think it helps that I’ve told people around me to help me look out for this particular thorn in my life, and I trust them to call me out when I’m sliding into prideful territory. Teachability and humility go hand in hand, and it’s not going to be easy to uproot a part of me that’s been second nature for nearly my whole life, but I know that I’ll become a better person because of it.
And maybe deep down, I just want to be someone who has the ability to travel on a whim too.
Until next time
But till then, here’s what I liked this week
So many cat forums and websites promising to teach me how to get my cat to stop biting and scratching at the couch when he has the zoomies. My conclusion is to give up and figure out how to restore the sofa afterwards, so it becomes a problem for future me instead.
Buzzfeed’s ranking of their favourite Taylor Swift songs, which I’ll agree to disagree with.
Love Island Australia Season 3, which I’ve just started. It seems to have gotten even trashier since S2, which I didn’t think was possible. But like a friend said, “we’re just here for the drama”. 100 per cent correct.
Thanks for reading — earlier this week I had an epiphany (? came to a realisation?) that I didn’t know why people were sticking around to read. But whether you’re a subscriber from day one or someone who drops in occasionally, I appreciate each and every one of you! I’ll see you at the same time next week.
Bless,
Zan